Brides-to-Be: A Classification

So my sister is getting married soon (apparently mid-December is "soon") and it is quite an experience for me to see someone sensible like her turn into Bride-zilla (term borrowed but apt). So these are my observations of brides and categorising them:

The Crier:

This bride-to-be cries not just at the drop of a hat but at the drop of anything! Really! What is it that makes them cry so much...and then their crying turns into social crying with all those with XX genes joining in....just great! I thought weddings were supposed to be happy occasions!!

The Silent Brides:

The main purpose of these brides is to blush. Their eyes are always downcast, I guess they must be recognising their new family basaed on the toes..."Aunty sharp red toes" or "Uncle Dirty nails"? And they wont talk..at all.......cat got their tongue for sure!!!

The Shopper:

These brides are solely responsible for the retail industry boom! These brides enter stores and shop...just because they have a legitimate reason to. I have also seen some brides making purchases of products they don't need or worse understand...just because they can shop!

The Inquisitive Bride:

I steer clear of these brides.....they are perfectionists and want a perfect wedding.....so they ASK QUESTIONS...to everyone! About the clothes they are wearing, the arrangements, whether clothes match or not? I am afraid someday they might ask me whether my underwear matches!

It's All About.......ME:

"Me, My Clothes, My hair....my wedding"...that's all that is there on the minds of these brides so there is nothing much to write about them. And I was told a wedding is the union of TWO souls? Anyways......

Think Ahead

HR classes..especially competency mapping classes are a lot of fun nowadays, because of an interesting phenomenon: what I call the "correcting your thinking" phenomenon.

Our HoD is quite appalled at how our class consisting of 18 potential female managers still thinks in terms of only males as being professionals, in the sense "If a person has blah blah blah.... then *he* would make a good manager". So she gave us quite a chat about it the other. And she isn't a feminist (What if she were.....!!!!)

So after having faced her snide remarks, EVERY girl in my class makes a CONSCIOUS effort while talking. And its real fun to see, for some, for they laugh.

I am just appalled at the ingrained gender barriers and their potency!!! No laughing phenomenon that!!!

Same Old Same Old

I woke this morning to a plea from my friend Kirti to give her some inputs for a PCom interview she had. And I sent her a message back with the same old..same old advice we have been given in different words by different people.....over the ages.......as far as interviewing advice is concerned.

Dress neat.

Stand straight. Sit straight.

Smile.

Be Polite.

Highlight your achievements.

Same old questions. Same old answers.

Why can't it be different?

Why can't I talk of my first lesson in team functioning which I learnt at 7 during the Dahi Handi festival? Why can't I talk of the real reason of why HR fascinates me (which actually got me rejected from an interview) rather than the same old, same old "HR is an emerging field....emerging as a business partner, so lots of oppportunities in a growing field....etc etc."

My friend has an excellent outlook towards this, which I realised is quite true after being on the other side of the table for a mock interview yesterday. All interviews are role-plays. The interviewer is a director and you are an actor following his script. Give a perfect take and you are in.

Which brings me to my original question: what are we recruiting for? Averages? Typicals? Standards? Those who fit in?

What about those who are unique? Who are genuinely creative? Who'd rather stand out than fit in and still give the best outputs?

And then we complain of lack of innovative practices and leaders.....

Miracles??

She met her Creator at the gates of the life beyond. Seeing her face marked by aeons of misery and tiredness, God said sheepishly, apologetically, “I am sorry my child I couldn’t give you all those beautiful sunsets your heart desired, all the miracles your heart needed.”

And she looked God in the eye and said, “So You really didn’t understand me, did You? I never asked for beautiful sunsets, only that all of mine be with him. I never asked you for miracles, only for a simple life with him.”

And God sunk low on his throne, defeated.

5 Must- Read Books (English Fiction)

1. The Kite Runner (Khaled Hosseini)

Every other book I read for more than a month after this one seemed pale. Co incidentally I had read this whole book at one go before an exam because it had held me by my gut. I just couldn't put it down. The protagonist in this book is painfully honest and its a poignant tale of how his fears and selfishness hurt those whom he loves the most and of his repentance and his attempts to make reforms. It is a potent story that will touch you.

2. Wuthering Heights (Emily Bronte)

This book has been rightly described as the strangest love story ever told. It is so different from any thing you'll read where those who love each other are set out to destroy each other. Heathcliff and Cathy are indeed one of the most memorable pairs, not for their togetherness but for their undying love in separation and each other's destruction.

3. The Godfather (Mario Puzo)

This is a classic novel and has it all. i have yet to meet a person who has read this book and not liked it.

4. The Fountainhead (Ayn Rand)

If you are a person who likes studying people, you should read this one. The author has developed the characters so beautifully, that you may forget the story, but the characters are alive and they are with you forever.

5. Salt and Sawdust (R.K. Narayan)

There are always Narayan classics like Malgudi Days and The Guide, but this one is different and as hilarious as any of them!

Growing Up

Another reason to grow up today. For the past few years since I have become a "legal" adult, I have realised what it is to grow up, because of the various incidents I have been through. This is what growing up is through my eyes:

Thinking from the head when your heart wants something else, just because it is the right thing to do.

Staying put when all you want to do is run miles and miles away from that place.

Smiling when all you want to scream in pain.

Fighting on when there seems to be no hope and you want to give up.

Going miles away to realise the value of what you have left behind.

Growing up is not always fun...but it is one of the best things that could happen to you. Makes you a human, and keeps you one!

News or Views?

There was a "Bharat Bandh" yesterday to protest against rising prices. And as usual my mom was shuttling between news channels at a very rapid pace to gather as much "information" as she could.

As a discerning viewer, I saw that the news channels were not really neutral or giving facts. The same facts were being presented coloured by the cause the news channels were 'sympathetic' towards, to sway public emotions.

One news channel flashed "Kya isse kam hogi mehengai?" (Is this the solution to inflation?)

The other repeatedly telecasted the interview of a political leader who was in support of the bandh.

Same scenes could be portrayed with different views to affect how one feels about the situation.

It made me realise the power of the media, and the importance of our logic and thinking.

The Implicit Gender Divide

So we say we are progressive society intending to give equality in every sense to women. And I believe we are reaching there. My only contention is that we need to give certain messages we pass implicitly a hard look:

Point 1 in argument: Textbooks!

This comes from an ad about equality of women which I absolutely loved. We are giving subliminal messages to our children about gender roles from a very young age through their textbooks which read:

* Ram school jaa. (Ram go to school)

* Sita ghar ka kaam kar. (Sita help with the work at home.)

Point 2 in argument: Advertisements

Ever seen the Veet ad by Katrina? She is able to can a perfect dance shot only after revealing her skin and showing off smooth legs and arms! Or the Tanishq ad where a seemingly sensible girl not ready for marriage decides to get married because of seeing Tanishq wedding jewellery...and the icing on the cake is when the mother messages to the father that even after 25 years of marriage you don't understand women (Wow!)

Point 3 in argument: Mixed Messages

I think this is what all girls I know must have heard from their parents: "Beta you have all the freedom you want." but "be back home by 9."

"Beta, study, have a career, fulfill all your dreams......." BUT "Help around with the house work. Learn how to do it."

I am not a feminist.....far from it. I respect the rights of both men and women. But honestly, in this age of "equality" how many guys hear or experience what I have mentioned above?

Is it fair?